The Virgo Times

One Good Thing About March

There aren't many things I like about March, but the one thing I love about March is the conversation where my boss hands me a piece of paper with my raise and bonus numbers on it.  My department had another good year, so I'm happy with the numbers.

Now I get to figure out what to do with it!   When I bought my place last summer, I planned to make a large HELOC payment with this year's bonus.  Now I'm wondering if I should stash most of it in savings, since this year is looking less than stellar for folks in my industry.  Or maybe pay off my depreciating asset (AKA car with 128K on the odometer) and start applying the monthly car payment amount to the HELOC.

Or I could use it to run away to Barbados and start a . . . a . . . a business of some kind.  Something involving rum?  Or seagrass?  Woven seagrass . . . rum bottle cozies? 

I really should be focusing on Passover preparations and Roth IRAs, but this Barbados idea has had me in its grip for a week or so.  I'll move on eventually, I'm sure, but it's been a really long winter.  I think I'll let myself daydream for a while first.

Getting Away

Our weekend in the cabin turned out to be kind of a bust.  We drove through the Good Friday snowstorm to get there, but there wasn't much snow on the ground so we did get to do some hiking that afternoon, and afterward we had dinner in the restaurant--I enjoyed that but J did not.  The food tasted "weird" to him.  He claimed he wasn't hungry anyway (and continued to be "not hungry" until we got home Sunday afternoon).  Then he found out that he could only watch three channels on the TV, and Cartoon Network was not one of them.

We hiked a bit more Saturday and played the board games we'd brought along, and when he woke up Sunday morning all he wanted was to come home.  I had hoped for a little more hiking before we left, but he was clearly miserable and so I brought him home.

As we hit the highway this morning for the drive home, I was feeling really low.  I wanted him to enjoy this weekend, and he really only enjoyed the few hours we spent hiking.  I can't blame him; what nine-year-old wants to spend all that time alone with his mom and some board games?  But the song on the radio was "Roll With It," which was exactly the message I needed to hear.  So, lesson learned, and I'm sure our next trip will turn out better.

In fact our next trip is already booked.  In June we are going to the Outer Banks for five days.  Our motel room is  actually an efficiency with a full kitchen, so we don't have to eat restaurant food morning, noon, and night.  (As much as I like for other people to cook the meals, our systems doesn't respond well.  We need our daily dose of whole grains and fresh veg.)  The place is right on the beach and has two swimming pools, and we'll rent bikes and hunt for shells and I CAN'T WAIT!

Redecorating and Reforming

I bought a sideboard!  I believe that makes me a grown-up, no?  It hasn't been delivered yet, but I think I'm going to love it!  (Also, it was a bargain.  I already love it for that reason alone.)  The pine storage units that I'm currently using will be combined with a countertop and re-purposed for storage/workspace in J's room.  I have to figure out how to do that, hmm. 

I took a deep breath and dove into the home improvement pool:  I hired someone to remove the overhead fluorescent fixture in my living room and install new recessed lighting.  The work commenced this morning and is almost finished.  It looks good so far, and I'm sure I'll be even happier after the enormous holes in the ceiling are patched.  After that there will be painting, though I'm still on the fence about paying someone to do that.  On one hand, it's expensive to hire a pro and I've always enjoyed the satisfaction of doing things myself.  On the other hand, that's a lot of painting for one person AND I'm doubtful of my ability to make it look good.  I think I will postpone this decision until my boss tells me about this year's raise and bonus.

In the meantime, J and I are looking forward to a little break.  We're going here for a couple of days of hiking and biking and general outdoorsy-ness.  In my case, it isn't so much "I'm looking forward to this trip" as it is "Sweet merciful heaven, I need a break."  I've been feeling burned out, frustrated, angry, resentful, and . . . mean.  Yesterday I caught myself saying some really mean things and I'm ashamed of myself.  I have a child at home and a supervisee at work, and what kind of example have I been setting?  A terrible one!  And I know better.

So I need to nip this gossipy meanness in the bud.  As I thought about this during my evening commute, the perfect alternative popped into my head.  Instead of saying something harsh or overly critical, I can say, "I'm sure she's doing the best she can."  I practiced that today and I feel better.  Even better than that, though, is what J told me at dinner:  one of his friends was talking about how another kid in their class isn't very smart, and J said, "I think he's doing the best he can."  I am so proud of him.